// May 26th, 2009 // 9 Comments » // reflections
from the archives:
“I don’t know what’s happening for past few weeks, I’ve realized I feel lonesome… and day by day this feeling gets intense… i wonder why…
…and I strongly believe that I need somebody to share all my sorrows, my aggravation and tensions. Sharing happiness seems less problematic… it’s not really a big deal… that’s what i feel sometimes…
I want to get rid of all this tension I had to experience lately… life has never been this tough on me… I’m way to dependent on someone else’s deeds.. that’s one of the worst realizations I’ve ever had… it makes me feel miserable… I’m doing all these efforts for nothing (or for something REALLY great) i don’t know… all I know that, YES, it is life! … that we live for others… we do things for others.. but I don’t know if it has to be the way I’m going through…
One other worst feeling amongst all is the lack of time spent with myself… .
I hate to think that maybe I’m just drowning that inner me… the day-dreamer… a frequent flier to fantasy land… I don’t want to lose myself… I’m getting farther away from myself… I wonder whats going to happen… maybe that inner me, the day-dreamer, would die away… i hate it.. i don want to think about it… i hope things get better..
listening to a sweet serene instrumental… its so soothing.. i wish i could just lay down and keep listening to this music.. forgetting all the bitterness of this world… the bitterness that is absorbing within me…”
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